Prayer...

I think prayer is one crazy thing. I have never really prayed that often, mainly because I hardly see it work. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. I know I should pray and Courtney begs for us to pray as a married couple more than what we do. God wants a daily conversation with us and that occurs through prayer, but it doesn't have to be a bow your head, hands clasped, serious prayer...just a continuing conversation. I have become more aware of prayer lately especially after our wedding day. I try to pray everyday for Courtney, but it still doesn't feel like it should. I'm expecting something crazy to happen I think and I'm disappointed every time nothing happens. I think that God isn't listening to me at all, I'm just another rambling christian trying to do what I'm supposed to do. I wonder if God rolls his eyes? If he does, it'd be during my prayer time I think.

But not today... Our downtown ministry, the tailgate with our friends who happen to be homeless, was a success. Everyone ate plenty of spaghetti, salad, and bread. People were walking up to us around 5 pm and we still had food for them. Amazing. One thing I've noticed with this particular meal is they love to put ranch dressing over the spaghetti and salad. I don't get that, but they seem to love it.
But today was special because of PRAYER. One of our helpers, Lesley, came to me about half way through the day and said to grab Courtney or whoever because we were going to pray. I didn't hesitate but now as I type this I don't think it registered with me what we were doing until we stood around a gentleman named Thomas. Lesley explained to us that Thomas was heading to Black Mountain, NC for a 30 detox program. I don't know how he's getting there or for what addiction, I just know he's going after the 8th of this month. (Apparently he pulled Lesley aside, told his story, and asked for prayer.) So we all, Lesley, Dave, Courtney, Libby, a homeless friend who's name I don't know, myself, and Thomas prayed. I lead us to the best of my ability, meaning I tried my best to allow God to speak through me for Thomas. I rarely know or understand how God speaks, but He spoke today. There is not a better feeling than to lift a man who needs that much help to the Lord. It took courage for Thomas to ask for prayer from strangers and I'm glad we could provide a small ounce of what God provides. We left Thomas and continued to serve the others and the day ended quietly.

But my thoughts continue to evolve...Courtney, Libby, and myself would never of had this chance to pray if Lesley wouldn't have been willing to talk with people. We need these type of volunteers so we don't miss such special moments like this. I love that Lesley has no fear in talking with people she has nothing in common with. She doesn't allow fear to limit her and she shows these people Christ. I want that from all of us that go downtown. We all need to do a better job at stretching our friend's faith and bring them with us downtown. Our walk with the Lord isn't supposed to be fluffy bunnys all the time. I think we need to be daring and live out Christ to people who need it. I'd rather be daring in my faith and trust the Lord will protect Courtney and I than not dare at all. I refuse to be sheltered in suburban America....give me the gutter and streets anytime, at least I'll go to bed knowing I tried to live out authentic faith...

Our World...

I have no clue what is happening in the world these days! I take that back, I know too much about what's going on in the world...Too much about our economy, debates, politicians, elections, blah blah blah. I hate feeling like I am consumed with bad news. Our own news stations are saying how we, Charlotte, won't see rain until next week and I'm thinking to myself "So what! We've had rain for who knows how many days straight now! Schools were canceled just two weeks ago because of RAIN! I don't know when the last time we had green grass in August and September and the weathermen are conserned we won't see rain unitl next week..." We hear bad news all day long it seems like. Check any news website: Cnn.com, Usatoday.com, Foxnews.com, MSN.com and you'll read about how bad our world is and how bad our financial situation is in America.

I have no clue what to think with this bailout idea. I understand that the financial institutions are major players in our economy, probably more than I realize. I kinda understand why big corporations need help by us the taxpayers ie the government. If they fail, we all fail. But what about the other said that says no, we the taxpayers shouldn't bail you out big corporations. You were the ones who made bad business decisions and put all of us in this situation. You were the ones who took advantage of people and padded your pockets in doing so. So we (taxpayers) are sorry but you (corporations) deserve to fail. So wheres the balance?...I personally think that this situation is filled with crooks. NO ONE should be making money on this bailout, if it happens.

Having no clue who or what to believe and being overtaken with emotions I forget to seek the Lord and His word for guideance. I love Matt. 6:24 "You cannot serve both God and money". I only wish our government and policy makers would abide by this verse. I have a hard time with it too. I love this one too, Proverbs 22:7 "The rich rule over the poor, And the borrower is servant to the lender." This rings so true these days! If we all would think about this verse and not just have credit and use credit and really think of ourselves as servants to our lenders, I think we may just wait to make certain purchases. I fell victim to this over and over, but I'm working my out of debt with Courtney so we aren't servants all our lives. The only kind of servant I want Courtney and I to be is the Lord's servant doing his will and his work. What about Ecclesiastes 5:10 "Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless". We as a society are not living by this verse! We all want more money and wealth. I struggle with this because I think I want more money for my job. I can just move to Charlotte-Meck school system and easily make so much more money for the same headache I have now. But this verse just puts me in my place! Hewbrews 13: 5 "Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have...".

I know our system is corrupt and we have money hungry politicians who only want to better themselves financially, so I think tonight I will do my best to pray for our leaders. God put them in this position for a reason, I only can hope it's to help rather than to hurt.

Justice...

I always check out Apple's website for their movie trailers. One in particular caught me off guard, Call + Response. Its about the child sex trade epidemic throughout the world and how certain celebrities are getting more involved. Towards the end of the trailer, Dr. Cornel West said something so profound, it stuck with me throughout last night. He said "Justice is what LOVE looks like in public." This comment alone sparked a conversation between Courtney, my wife, and I in the car. Is he talking about justice for the children being sold for sex? Or is he talking about justice being done to the sick people selling and buying the children? Or is it a blanket statement encompassing both?

I know and understand their are two forms of justice, God's and human. God's justice, whether we or I believe it or not is always fair because God does not waver being just. He created the very concept plus He's all-knowing and all-powerful. He doesn't know how NOT to be fair! Our justice is highly affected by people's emotions and feelings. I can't stand debates between people who say things like "Can someone who rapes and kills still get into heaven?" Honestly, I think they can, but do they deserve it? I don't know and I don't want the resposibility to make that call! It's Gods call. So, our justice is basically desided on a case by case situation. Gods isn't.

I can't stand when churches talk about what I or you or we need to be doing. Theres so much to get done and things to care about and things to change in the world! I know I can't do them all, heck I feel I can't do any of them. I get so bogged down in the details of what I need or should be doing that I DO NOTHING!! But Dr. West's comment gives me hope...

Our church actually does something about justice, every Sunday people serve the homeless of Charlotte a meal. This increadible act done by so many is so amazing, its remarkable how it gets done. This idea of LOVING and serving people we don't know isn't something people just do, Christ and the Holy Spirit are leading us and showing us the way. I know this is something I can do, I can LOVE. God teaches me everyday how to LOVE. I know that God is the remedy to our many problems in the world, and if God is LOVE, then LOVE is the remedy. If justice is what LOVE looks like in public and I know how to LOVE and LOVE is the remedy, then I am part of the remedy which is a part of justice...

It's easy to LOVE people, just chose to...Christ comands us to...but this easy act serves a bigger purpose...a just purpose...